U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Small penises have feelings too.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
