well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
