Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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