I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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