i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize