It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
