If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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