my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
