no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
