is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
