Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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