Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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