I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
