it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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