PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
