Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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