Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
