I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he fucked my hip out of place.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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