Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And then my night got REAL pukey
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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