Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
