everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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