We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
