So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
