We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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