this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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