It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
