i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
