Say something about gay babies.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
