Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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