Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
