Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
