im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
