Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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