Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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