Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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