Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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