homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
