dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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