when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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