you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
