Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
