hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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