I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
