thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
