we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
