omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
