I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
