this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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