Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
