why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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