is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
