just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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