PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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