Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
is it fun? or sober?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
