god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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