wake up i wanna do it froggy style
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize