it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
