There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
