I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
